Ammon Brown

Shameless Plugs For those of you who have my old home number in Brooklyn, please update your address book with… the same number. This portability magic trick brought to you by Vonage. They allow me to just plug my phone into any internet connection and keep the same number. I also get free long distance and local for $35 per month and I can listen to my voice mail online. Totally sweet, I recommend it to escape the evil clutches of Verizon or other Bells. Enough of that plug and on to the next one. As many of you know, I recently took the GMAT and scored above even my expectations. Props for this little feat go to Manhattan GMAT. I can’t gush enough about how comprehensive and immersive this class was. The instructor was a Harvard student and she stayed in touch with many of us to follow up on our progress. My first diagnostic test was a 670, and 10 weeks later I scored a 760, a 90 point increase. Of course, I was a genius to begin with, but I have to give credit where it is due. Enough for that plug.

One interesting thing that this brought up recently is how that makes me feel. I kind of feel bad that I scored so well. I did not do all of the work I should have done for the class or in preparation, and I still scored in the 99th percentile. Should I apologize to the people who work hard? Should I feel guilty or lucky? Because I do. I want to think it was pure ability, but I feel that it was somehow undeserved. Over the years I have scored well on tests, scored primo jobs and internships, and found a great wife. Am I blessed? People think so, and I resent that. I feel like I work hard and use whatever few talents I have to get what I need. And I feel like a cocky jerk saying all of this on my blog, but darnit, I do feel like I worked hard to get where I am, and the insinuation of luck offends me. But it also creates doubts, and I do not like to doubt myself. So please, when you see me, tell me I am great, not lucky. It will bolster my self worth. Actually, reading back through this post it would not seem to need much bolstering. But you know what I am trying to say, right? Everyone has self doubt, I just try to suppress it. And I think that air of confidence has served me well. Call it luck if you must.