Ammon Brown

I had a long day at work, made even longer because I still can’t shake this crappy cold. I can’t decide if it is the cold or the cold medicine that slows me down more. Either way, I am about as mentally agile as a potato with Down’s Syndrome. Christine introduced me to a cool site today. She found it while surfing Cafe Shops (which, by the way, is the best way to find weird sites). The site she found was I hate your SUV. It really spoke to me. I find it heartening that there are people out there fighting the absurdity of the SUV and confronting it in a humorous fashion. The fact that those doggone things are so popular is nothing short of a testament to slick marketing and slicker lobbying. You see, the American automakers would be in big trouble without the ridiculous margins they make on SUVs, and they know it. So they lobby the government to make sure that SUVs are classified as trucks to avoid the higher insurance and safety regulations required of passenger cars. Then they market them as “get out of town” vehicles, even though if you took your shiny Lexus SUV with the leather seats in for warranty repairs because you drove over your lawn, the mechanic would most likely look at you and say, “You know this dang thing ain’t designed to go offroad.” Don’t worry, the rant is almost over. Just a few more barbs… But I think they have finally given up on marketing them as tough vehicles. The commercials have begun to show them onroad more than off; an apt reflection of reality. And I agree with Bill Maher’s hilarious book wholeheartedly when he says that it is invariably the people who guzzle the most gas (SUV drivers) who put the most flags on their cars after 9/11. Ironic, isn’t it. But hey, maybe they figure if they are going to support an ideal, they might as well go all they way, whether it be supporting terrorists by guzzling as much gas as possible or supporting America by flying as many flags as possible. Someone should tell them that each additional flag is more wind resistance and hence worse gas mileage, hence more oil money, and hence more cash in Bin Laden’s boxcutters for babies fund. OK, I promised to end the SUV rant, and so I shall. Bottom line: Buy a bicycle. Don’t mount it on your friggin’ SUV. And if you get bored some weekend, try this or this.